The one...

So I sit here pondering. We have all heard the argument as to wether God has the one out there for us (for those of you who don’t know what the one is I am talking about your present/further spouse). Lately I don’t know what I think. I am 28 already and there doesn’t seem to be anyone...let me clarify there doesn’t seem to be anyone I WOULD consider God bring the one to me. There is a man who I can’t seem to get rid of. Now I have never seen Broke Back Mountain but one of the lines everyone quotes is "I just can’t quit you." That’s how I feel with this man. I went so far as to erase his number and erase him out of my life...was doing really well with it for a while then all at once he came back...slowly I added him back to my messengers...I put his number back in my phone and two nights ago I saw him. I don’t know what to think. What is it about him that I can’t seem to just let him go? I know what a certain friend of mine would say...You could do better. Yes I know I could but at present where is better? Ya some could say I just need to wait...but do you know how it feels to be 28 and still have no one...no you don’t cause most everyone I know either has someone or is married to that person already and is not even close to my age. I have two sisters...one who’s been married 5 years and had two kids. The other who has been married and divorced and who even now is in a relationship with a man she will probably marry. Then me the oldest, still with no one. With this over whelming desire to be married and have kids, but no one to do that with. Yes I do feel like God has forgotten me. Yes I know he hasn’t and know he hurts with me. I know he has perfect timing...but right now...I just don’t know...I feel this roller coaster lately going up and down...feeling one day to be happy and full of promise only for a few days later to be down in the dumps with no hope...maybe I am slightly manic depressant. Who knows? I will never know for sure...so is there really the one out there? Or do we make the best out of who we just fall for? Do we have a control over whom we fall for? Do we choose who we love? Sure if the person doesn’t reciprocate we move on...but when they do what are we to do about it?...lots of questions and no answer...this seems to be my life..........